Is it worth it?
Born and raised in India with a huge and loving family, I have always loved being around people. Family dinners and festivals have been 20+ people coming together, laughing their hearts out, screaming cheerfully for no reason, and adorable family anecdotes.
Family is the most important value for me in life. I am grateful to all my family members for raising me with love, care, and kindness. I want to take some time to recollect all the amazing memories of my family members that come to mind as I am sitting miles away from them. I loved going around the crowded streets in Delhi (where I was born and brought up) with my dad on our 2-wheeler scooter, Honda Activa. My dad would always open the footrest on both sides for me whenever we went for a ride as a kid and even after I grew up. I am not ashamed to say that my dad would cut my nails till my freshman year of college. Coming from a joint family, I have witnessed my uncles and aunts go out of the way to make sure I don’t even miss my evening tea/milk as a kid if my parents were out or busy. The small everyday gestures I have experienced growing up have shaped the definition of love for me today.
After I moved to the United States in pursuit of higher education and better career opportunities in 2021, I found myself struggling emotionally moving away from an overprotective family environment. I would often question myself “Is it worth it ?” Is the search for a “better life” in one of the most developed nations of the world worth the emotional pain of being separated from your family?
After graduating from university, and working full-time in a job, where I am growing professionally every day, the question still haunts me. I will not deny that my bank balance is happy with dollars flowing in instead of rupees. However, the emptiness in my heart echoes so loudly that I am contemplating on this question very often. During my master’s program, I was around other Indian students which made it easier to navigate the hardships of moving to a new country. As all my friends moved to different cities for work, I found it hard to feel emotionally nourished, loved, and cared for. Research on health longevity suggests social connections as one of the key contributors to living a purposeful and long life. The cultural differences between the United States and India make it harder to forge those social connections within the workplace and outside. Social connections also provide a sense of safety required for human beings to live peacefully. Feeling safe at your home is the most basic human need. Luckily, I share a home with a wonderful roommate with whom I get along well. She keeps traveling to different cities for exploration while working remotely. When she’s not around, and I am all by myself, I have trouble falling asleep without fear. I don’t have any nearby emergency contacts who could support me during a crisis. I have never felt unsafe living by myself in India, since I was either around family or friends and I knew my way around the place more.
To the question, “Is it worth it?”, I can’t decide at the moment. I am loving the new challenges life is throwing at me in this new country, pushing me to grow and forcing me to expand my limitations. We had chauffeurs in our family and an excellent public transport system in New Delhi, so I have never driven a car in India. Come to Texas, and you will find how hard it is to get by without driving. Americans learn to drive at the age of 16, and I find it embarrassing to tell anyone that I can’t drive. This is a good challenge for me and will help me become more independent.
For now, I want to continue to work here and get exposure to the industry, learn disruptive tech trends, learn more about entrepreneurship, embrace different cultures, and find more people I feel connected with and can call my friends. In the future, I will keep exploring this question as I gain new experiences, develop new skills, and learn to face my fears. Thoughts such as being able to support my parents as they age, raising my kids (whenever that happens) away from their culture and family, and starting my own thing bother me persistently. If I ever find a cause or problem that truly excites me and has the potential to impact others, I plan to pursue building a solution from the ground up. Radhika Gupta, founder and CEO of Edelweiss, moved back from the United States to India after a successful career at Wall Street. She emphasizes the opportunity to make a difference in the lives of millions of people in India through simple changes, as opposed to solving highly complex problems in an economy where majority of the problems have already been solved.
I want to end this piece by offering you all a movie suggestion, “For Here, or To Go”, a movie that depicts the conundrum of an aspiring Indian entrepreneur trying to find his footing in the United States, work visa challenges, navigating love life across borders and an awakening call to give back to his own country. This movie sums up my emotions as well as the emotions of millions of Indian immigrants trying to make a better life in a new country while living with the constant dilemma of going back home.
